Monday, 12/17/12 9:14am
Megan: there is some kenny g christmas on my radio that i definitely think you would enjoy
Erin: oh man, if there’s one thing a monday morning needs it’s Kenny G’s ballshrinking shrill ass saxophone
Megan: come on, it’s soothing and peaceful
Erin: it’s the music they play in the lobby of hell, gah. just thinking about it is enraging me
Megan: there is no video of Kenny G live playin his christmas songs!
Erin: because he’s not a real person. just an idea of horrible music.a phantom, summoned by the sound of a soprano. i hear that if you stand in front of a mirror in the dark and say his name three times. he appears and murders your ears
Megan: but it’s festive! okay, you have to sit in a room alone for 24 hours with the same music on loop. kenny g? or the wham christmas song? (YOU MUST WATCH THIS VIDEO BTWS)
Erin: good god. what kind of twisted imagination asks that question??! i want to punch this video. ski chalet from hell. look at these yuppies and their huge coats
Megan: you must answer!
Erin: you’re sick dwyer
Erin: ugh. what would you pick?
Megan: kenny g vs. that paul mccarney christmas song?
Megan: look this video comes with a christmas movie montage!
Erin: remember that knife dildo from the movie SE7EN? that in my ear is what that paul mccartney song is
Megan: soo..kenny g and his sexy curls beats sir paul this time??
Erin: no i don’t think so. i would take knifey rape ear music over kenny g. they haven’t invented an instrument that represents kenny g’s tunes yet. there is no equivalent
Megan: okay. so wham v. simply having a wonderFUL CHRISTMAS TIIIIME?
Erin: why are you do this to meeeeeeeeeeee
Erin: they’re all in my head now. um let’s see….damn, probably mccartney. because i’ve got childhood holiday memories of that song. whereas wham is a relatively new song (to me)
Erin: christ i hate all those songs
Erin: i love ron swanson and his alter ego. but nothing, ever, could convince me to get on a sax train
Megan: aw. you would suicide off a sax train.
Erin: i would
PS. To redeem ourselves, check out this cover of “Last Christmas” by XX. It’s pretty great. http://www.uproxx.com/music/2012/12/hear-the-xxs-cover-of-a-rare-good-holiday-song-whams-last-christmas/
PPS. To further redeem ourselves: humor.