Merry Music of the Damned

Monday, 12/17/12 9:14am

Megan:  there is some kenny g christmas on my radio that i definitely think you would enjoy

Erin:  oh man, if there’s one thing a monday morning needs it’s Kenny G’s ballshrinking shrill ass saxophone

Megan:  come on, it’s soothing and peaceful

Erin:  it’s the music they play in the lobby of hell, gah. just thinking about it is enraging me

Megan: there is no video of Kenny G live playin his christmas songs!

Erin: because he’s not a real person. just an idea of horrible music.a phantom, summoned by the sound of a soprano. i hear that if you stand in front of a mirror in the dark and say his name three times. he appears and murders your ears

Megan:  but it’s festive! okay, you have to sit in a room alone for 24 hours with the same music on loop. kenny g? or the wham christmas song? (YOU MUST WATCH THIS VIDEO BTWS)

Erin:  good god. what kind of twisted imagination asks that question??! i want to punch this video. ski chalet from hell. look at these yuppies and their huge coats

Megan:  you must answer!

Erin:  you’re sick dwyer


Megan:  okay

Erin:  ugh. what would you pick?

Megan:  kenny g vs. that paul mccarney christmas song?


Megan:  look this video comes with a christmas movie montage!

Erin:  duuuuuude

Erin:  remember that knife dildo from the movie SE7EN? that in my ear is what that paul mccartney song is

Megan:  soo..kenny g and his sexy curls beats sir paul this time??

Erin:  no i don’t think so. i would take knifey rape ear music over kenny g. they haven’t invented an instrument that represents kenny g’s tunes yet. there is no equivalent

Megan:  okay. so wham v. simply having a wonderFUL CHRISTMAS TIIIIME?

Erin:  why are you do this to meeeeeeeeeeee

Erin:  they’re all in my head now. um let’s see….damn, probably mccartney. because i’ve got childhood holiday memories of that song. whereas wham is a relatively new song (to me)

Erin:  christ i hate all those songs


Erin:  i love ron swanson and his alter ego. but nothing, ever, could convince me to get on a sax train

Megan:  aw. you would suicide off a sax train.

Erin:  i would

PS. To redeem ourselves, check out this cover of “Last Christmas” by XX. It’s pretty great.

PPS. To further redeem ourselves: humor.


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