Just what is it about working in an office that makes you want to hang yourself with a keyboard cord?
I’ve been asking around and have yet to find any concrete answers. Like…are there people out there who like…actually like…like their jobs? If so, we need to talk. Stat.
The honeymoon phase of this job is over. THE END. And I still didn’t quite see it coming. I thought this time could be different. It’s a field that I’m interested in, the people are cool, blah blah fucking blah. Maybe I could settle in here a bit, one day move up to a position that pays me a livable salary and that requires me to use my resume-unfriendly skills like creativity and common sense and decency in dealing with other humans?
Nope. Here I am again lamenting not just all of my life choices, but my existence as a human being in general.
<COMMENCE INSOMNIA-INDUCING, SUBSTANCE-ABUSING QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS>
I’ve started to adopt the dangerously cynical opinion that most people are just making the best of a shitty situation and that none of us want to be trapped at a desk answering inane emails and completing corporate self-evaluations and watching management struggle to keep up morale because, quite frankly, they just don’t care either. And that some people are just cool cats about it all. They just go to work, get it done, make the monies, and go home to a much more fulfilling world that makes company wide emails about kitchen cleanliness a little less hard to swallow. (So maybe that’s my problem. I have this job and that’s about it. More on this later).
But me? I’m having a temper tantrum. I’m guessing that because my personal life is relatively unfulfilling, it’s created a situation where my ego is all tied up in my job. Meaning that even though I don’t have much stake in anything that goes on at this job, I’m still super insulted by the micromanaging and the cliques and overall lack of respect for employees (and that’s best case scenario, assuming that a better personal life balances some of the nonsense we endure for 40+ waking hours a week). And then I realize that this place is better than most places I’ve worked. So then it’s me. It’s me and my perpetual fucking malcontent that has left me awash in life crisis and consequently absent from this blog.
It’s not that I don’t have anything to say. It’s that I’m not interested in people’s rainbows and bunny farts responses. Because the reaction to this is always “Well, change it”. Like I fucking ordered the wrong milkshake at the drive thru. Wait, wait! I didn’t mean vanilla, GIVE ME PEANUT BUTTER DOUBLE FUDGE!
And while a more positive and well-adjusted me knows there is wisdom in this advice, Quarter-Life Crisis Me can’t just snap my fingers and fix it all. Remember my last search for a new job? REMEMBER?! Do you want to relive that? Do you know how long it’s going to take me to voluntarily experience that again?
So this is why I wonder if it even can be fixed. Do I need to just suck it up and accept my tiny cubicle and tiny paycheck and tiny esteem? Is this the human condition????
IS THIS WHAT THE KEYBOARD CORD IS REALLY FOR?!