Mean Girls

Like every other rational human being in the world (excepting Megan, who is a professional pop culture contrarian), I went to see Skyfall last weekend, and it was beautiful and awesome and I love it with all my heart and urge you to throw your money at it too. There was one, slight little thing though that irked me just the teensiest bit though…

Wrong.

(Spoilers ahead for dumdums who have never heard of James Bond movie tropes before.)

Oh Naughty Bond Girl. You are inarguably smokin’ hot and you have an accent. But I’m not jealous, no no, for in the world of Bond, the bad guys are always punished and the bad girls are always slutty collateral damage that drive our noble British hero toward kicking greater piles of ass for Queen and Country. Bang, betray, be killed – that’s the typical lifespan of a Bad Bond Girl. Hoo boy how many feminist film critics have had fun with that formula over the last fifty years? But come on. All this predictable misogyny? Trembling and victimized ladies at the mercy of violent men? Peace! Quell your ideological rage, Reader, for I have a solution.

The world needs a new kind of a Bond girl, and I am she. I will make that sacrifice.

I will make that sacrifice right into the middle of this man sandwich.

Let me count the ways in which I am a superior Bond Girl than boring old Severine up there. Let’s invert some cliches – Continue reading